Taking Stock
June 17, 2022

Births, deaths, marriages: the "big three" of events in life. The ones 
that mark a definitive change in state or status; the ones that mark 
the beginning and end of our journey here on Earth. Events that make not 
only the persons going through it take stock, but those around them, too.

Suffice it to say my wife and I have recently gone through one of the 
big three and in the wake of it, we're reconsidering many things. We 
both had to drop everything to deal with the situation. I had (and have) 
no problem interrupting my routine for family; I've posted before about 
being a good person before being a good writer[1] and stand by every word.

But over the past few months, I was forced by circumstances to modify--
and at times forgo--one or another (or all) of my writing habits. My 
submissions came to a sudden halt. My daily wordcount plummeted and at 
times ceased altogether. Even my workouts stopped for a while. All 
subsumed under more pressing and more important events.

I felt (and to some degree still feel) guilty about my periods of not 
writing or submitting. At the same time, I realize now that I've built 
those habits to the point where not doing them for a few weeks didn't 
result in me abandoning writing altogether. I also tried to remember 
that I'm human, too, and needed time to process events and their aftermath.

During this time of reassessment and change, I stumbled across George 
Saunders' Substack post Office Hours[2]. In it, he mentions "the dangers 
of believing too simply in rigor and efficiency." After spending a couple 
of weeks further away from writing than I normally do, I've begun 
wondering if perhaps I hadn't fallen into that very trap.

I'm not announcing I've had some sort of Saul-on-the-road-to-Damascus 
moment and am becoming a "whenever the muse speaks, I write" writer. I 
don't think I'll ever be (or even could be) that sort of writer. 
However, I do now think perhaps I should be more flexible in what I 
count as writing and not rely so much on wordcount to mark progress 
toward a particular writing goal. Is a day in which I don't hit my 750 
new words--but edit fifty pages--not a successful one? How about one in 
which I get the framework and research and all the underpinnings of a 
new short story done but not a single, blessed new word?

These are the sorts of considerations, the sorts of taking stock I'm 
doing right now. I feel like my writing journey is starting a new phase, 
and there may be more introspective posts like this one as I figure 
things out. You're welcome to come along for the ride, if you wish.

[1] https://www.andrewgudgel.com/blog/more-than-words.txt
[2] https://georgesaunders.substack.com/p/office-hours?s=r

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