Now that he'd set his magazine down, he might as well do the mid-shift aisle check. Jeremy reached under the counter for the aluminum bat and canister of micro-tag spray. He clipped the black cylinder to his jeans. He'd never considered actually using the spray, but it was policy that everyone carried it when checking the aisles. The microscopic, serial-numbered tags were covered with sea-urchin-like spines that were supposed to stick to a shoplifter and mark them for the cops, and at the same time be as irritating as tear gas. But that wasn't strong enough to stop a junkie. Hence the baseball bat.

Jeremy started at the back of the store, straightening the shelves as he checked for stiffs who might have wandered in earlier and then keeled over. Some of the new uppers caused a kind of rigor mortis when they peaked, and it was easier to drag a paralyzed junkie out of the store than to deal with them when they came back down, sweaty and paranoid. But there were no junkies laying in the aisles; just two frozen burritos that had been gnawed and dropped on the floor. He tossed them in the trash and made a mental note to write them off on the inventory control log.

When he finished his check, Jeremy put away the bat and spray, made note of the burritos on the cash register's screen, and went back to his magazine. An interview with a girl band and a photo-spread later, the door chimed. Jeremy looked up. The armorglass panels in the doors were covered with a gray haze of old scratches. He shook his head in disgust. The goddamned Tajik was too cheap to have them replaced with the new scratchless stuff, and all he could tell was that a group of people waited outside. Could be anybody on the other side of that door. He checked to make sure there were shells in the antique sawed-off shotgun wired under the counter, then pushed the button to de-mag the door locks that came on automatically after midnight.

The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. She stopped in front of him, grinning wickedly. Straight platinum-blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders and high bare breasts, contrasting with her inky black skin. Jeremy noticed a necklace of tiny, perfectly-formed ceramic skulls hung around her neck.

Hi, Jeremy."

'Lo, Suzy."

The Goddess Kali's eyes flashed red with anger. "Don't call me that!" Behind her, a whole pantheon wandered the aisles, looking for late-night snacks.

"Nice effect."

The Goddess looked annoyed. "New contacts. I am Kali, the Destroyer of Worlds." She looked around at the other gods and goddesses scattered through the aisles, then lowered her voice. "When I come in for soy milk and bread, you can call me Suzy. But not now; not in front of everybody."

Suzy was a regular at the Automart. Jeremy had seen her once or twice a week when he worked days. This was the first time she'd come in since he started the night shift. "I didn't know you were a Hindu-Rocker. I thought you were a Dark Circle Vampire."

Suzy shushed him. "I used to run with the Vampires. Not anymore. I've found a new crew to hang with."

Jeremy nodded and kept his eyes locked on her face, trying not to stare at her tits. Even with the new subdermal dye-job, she was beautiful. "So, whatcha been up to tonight?"

Suzy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Clubbing. Now we're going to Vishnu's to hang out. Could I get a pack of Puffins, no-carcinogen?"

"Sure. Didn't know you were a dope fiend."

Kali looked at the ground. "I, uh, just started. Everyone else in the crew takes Soma, but I'm not into illegal drugs, so I thought I could at least, well, you know..."

"Since everyone else was getting twisted..."

"Yeah."

He pushed the pack of joints and a book of matches across the counter. "That'll be five bucks."

She fumbled in the waistband of her loincloth and handed him a crumpled bill.

"Thanks," said Jeremy. He licked his lips, nervous. "Suzy, I mean Kali, I was wondering if..."

A skinny blue God with a fiery nimbus around his head came up and stood behind her. Thunder rumbled. "Kali, is this mortal bothering you?" He put a protective hand on her shoulder and shook his silver flute.

Jeremy's face darkened. "Nice special effects, God-boy, but the lady and I were having a private conversation, if you don't mind."

Lightning split the air. "I am Krishna, worm, and you will not speak to me like that."

"You didn't have to talk to him like that," said Suzy. "He was just looking out for me."

"He was hanging all over you like he owned you or something. Pissed me off."

Suzy smiled. "Actually, Kali is Shiva's, not Krishna's consort."

"Oh," said Jeremy, trying not to sound disappointed. "So you and Shiva are like an item, then?"

"When we're clubbing, but not all the time."

He looked relieved. "Oh. Um, then would you like to maybe sometime..."

Just then the shoplift alarm buzzed. Jeremy looked over to see a monkey-faced Hindu-Rocker tossing a case of beer past the sensors and into the waiting arms of another god outside. Reflexively, he slapped the lockdown button and the doors slammed shut. He turned back to stare at Suzy. His eyes narrowed. "You were keeping me distracted..."

"No!"

"Yes, you were."

Suzy looked over her shoulder and rumbled to the pantheon. "I will take care of this mortal--alone."

She stepped close to the counter and lowered her voice. "We were on our way from the club to Vishnu's. I needed to get a pack of joints, that's all. I didn't know Hanuman was going to do something dumb, honest. Jeremy, please."

He saw the look on her face: fright mixed with embarrassment. A single tear rolled down her ebony cheek. Damn! She was cute even when she cried. Jeremy crossed his arms, fighting the urge to just cave in. "Ok Kali, so maybe you weren't playing me for a fool. What about the beer, though? Somebody's got to pay for it. Somehow, I don't think your God-buddy is still out in the parking lot, waiting to bring it back."

"I'll give you the money for it tomorrow. I swear. Just let us go. Lakshmi and Brahma both have a couple of priors for dealing Soma, and the cops would lean on them if you called this in."

Jeremy looked at the ceiling for a moment, then nodded brusquely. "Alright. But tell them that if any of them ever come back in here all Godded-out, I will call the cops."

Suzy smiled. "Thanks." She turned to the pantheon assembled at the doors and raised her arms. "I have dealt with this mortal, and he crawls before me. Go, while he is still in my grasp." Everyone shuffled out of the store until only she was left.

"The answer is yes," said the Goddess of Destruction.

Jeremy looked confused. "The answer to what is yes?"

"Yes, I'd love to go out with you. That was what you were going to ask me, right?"

He swallowed. "Because I let all your friends go?"

The skulls around her neck rattled as she shook her head. "No, because you're cute. Even when you're angry. Especially when you're angry." She kissed him then, a brief peck tasting of anise, and was gone. Jeremy grinned. He reached over and unplugged the surveillance recording unit, entirely dumping its memory, then dug a twenty out of his wallet and rang up one case of beer.